Hello there darlings and loved ones.

I haven't posted in a while and it bugs me. But right now, my life consists of big word, tight deadlines and high hopes and evening frustration. Also bitten nails and greasy hair. Lovely image isn't it?

One month from now it is, maybe even few days less I will be officially an engineer and a full time working girl. It sounds strange. One month from now I will have this school finished and done and I will be extremely happy about it. Don't get confused. Uni is hard as hell. But it is worth it.

I am now at the stage when my life ends after a certain date. For me that date is this thursday and after that there will be some kind of mid life and after my finals, completely new world unravels. I am so looking forward to it. I will buy a really comfortable chair, that kind you can get outside and sunbathe in the garden. That kind you can get your feet up and you can adjust the way that the back goes so that you are sitting at one point and laying at another. And I will take that outside fancy chair to my husbands house and during weekends I will do nothing but lay on that chair and read books.

I already have one of those fancy chairs at home, that is why I only need one. That is the life I am picturing will happen. Also I will come home from work every day and there will be no more working, no more studying, no more deadlines. I can do what ever I eant with those few hours in the evening. I can clean the house. I can cook something. I can bake a cake. I can read a book. A can watch TV. Or I can go to sleep. That is what I can do with all that spare time that I will hve in the future. Also I can sew. Or if I have too much work I could just stay at work at work till late. Because I would not have to do anything else.

And I am so looking forward to that. If you go to university and work at the same time you know what I am talking about. My life right now is a set of deadlines. I have to fit work and school together with something called life and people. Luckily my idea of people is just me and my husband, because we do not need anyone else, and I am extremely happy that we are at this stage right now because I could not afford anything else.

As this all ends, I am thinking about all I have been through, and even though there is a lot of nights I had to work through and parties I missed because of school, I would never take it back. I am just hopefull I will never ever have to go through this experience again. One assignment I had I realized day before I was supposed to present it that I am not going to make it in time. So I coded all day and all night. Went to sleep at 3.50 to wake up at 4.30 and got to train. I coded through the train ride and after I got to my flat I continued to work. I had the presentation at 5 PM and I managed to make it work. I got 9.5/10 point for that assignment.

When we were in the first year we had this assignment to create a pdf file in LaTeX and submit it through some ftp place we had to change something there for it to be visible to other people. The night it was due, we had to turn it in until midnight, me and my roommate decided to celebrate something and got really drunk. I finished that assignment and handed it in, but than I got 0 points because the teacher could not find the file anywhere.

One year during the night that the clock is changing, this was in winter, it was moving backward I was coding and coding and it was two o'clock, than 2.50 AM and than it was two o'clock again and I had gone to sleep at around 5 am and done so much that night.

When I was in second year, I had this subject, functional and logical programming, and it was known to be really hard subject. It really was one of the worst things I got through. There was only about 13 people that got the courage to go through it. And we did not know how many points we got for our assignments until the last weeks of semester. And I was loosing all my hopes that i would get through that subject, because the test were really hard and I knew I did not do good. But I did not give up, I worked hard and finally got points, got enough to go to final exam and got the best C I have ever gotten.

Once we had a final exam and we didn't know how many points we got through semester. And you have to get certain amount to be able to attend final. We got our points about an hour before that exam.

When we were in first year I was feeling as if I was 15 because I had a really bad hair day, so my roommate and I decided to celebrate that and wrote some friend and gone out. We were meeting and starting and midnight, finished up at around 7 in the morning.

I could go on for a long time, but I guess you are not really interested. I just have all these feelings about ending school and looking forward to the rest of my life that I just wanted to share some of them with you. Also I wanted to say a huge thank you for everyone that has crossed fingers for me, because it was looking really really dark in certain point, but right now it's all good and I am able to hand in my final thesis this thursday even though it is not 100 percent great but never mind. I will finish this school and that is what matters.

Don't ever think binary.
Whitelilit

P.S. If there are millions of mistakes and errors in this one, I am sorry but it is late and I have no strength in me to go through this again and read it one more time. Count with me. The last month and then I can get back to blogging.

P.S.2. There are some weird fighting cats outside. We don't have a cat. They seem really angry,