Whitelilits blog

Dear darling,

When my parents asked about you I told them that this is the short story: 8 shots of vodka and one kiss. That was our short story. Also a promise that we just try this out and end it in may. And in february I remember crying to my phone while calling with you begging you not to leave me, not to go away for university. I still don't know and don't really wanna know if that test was really that hard or you just blew it because of me.

I have here a book, a story that I wrote when I was seventeen. I rushed into the ending because I wanted to know what will happen and it turned out absolute rubbish of course. And you were one of the I guess two or three people I let to read it. It's about a girl, kidnapped by her spiritual twin sister Emily onto the Swalbard island up around the north pole, living in an icy castle learning how to fight and kill. She ends up killing a bear and a gigantic black wolf and becomes the queen of the Swalbard people. When you read this book I asked you about travelling into different worlds because I wanted to go to this world, where life would be perfect and where my twin is. You said to me then, that this is possible. It was few years later I realised that as much as your world is real for you, this one is real inside my head and it is there. So when you asked me once if I believe you about magic, I was able to say yes. I believe every single word you say to me, because I know it's real. Also after a few years I realised that I don't want that world to be real. I found so much more here with you than I could ever find there. I found myself, the real me and my love for you so big it sometimes scare me. And as much as I love getting lost in my thoughts from time to time I would be fool to want to live without you and your love for me.

When we met, we became english class buddies and worked it toward friendship so big and beautiful it was able to reborn itself into our love. And thanks to our friendship even when the world and the destiny wanted to tear us apart we were able to stay together. Because even if I was ever able to live without your love I wouldn't survive wothout your friendship. Also without your hands and lips and smile and the look you give me. And without your craziness and constant urge to make me laugh and smile. And the fact that you are horrible to everyone but me. And the kiss into my hair you always give me. And honestly I love the fact that I'm your love and your world, because you are mine.

If I could say the short story again it would be that it took two fools, three and a half year, one dance, 8 shots of vodka, one sick desicion and an eternity of love.

And the long story started writing itself, when I was fifteen and didn't know a bit about a world and this guy gave me a name. He named me Martina Lilith and I felt special. And thanks to today, this story will write itself for eternity, because from today, I will be yours and you will be mine. For ever. For eternity. And I feel special for that every day.

I love you.
The one in the white dress.

4 days

23:54

One year

09:57

Hello there darlings and loved ones.

It's now over a year since I posted my first blog post. Since then I had over 2800 visits here on this page and 36 comments. I still have chills when I get new comment because they're as rare for me as seeing a giraffe. And I love giraffes.

Most visits were from Slovakia obviously, then from USA and Russia. I loved seeing all the corners of the world in my statistics because it seems unbelievable to me anyone would pop up here just to read my blog.

With this post I wanted to say happy birthday to this blog, thank you to all my followers even though there aren't many of you and to all those people who came by, chcked my blog, read my stuff I say big thank you, and even bigger to those who commented.

It's funny and I couln't really imagine before, how much can this thing help. And you helped me, you people, who pop up here and read this because you make my day and help me see myself in a different way. Now I have more confidence and am able to look at opportunity with my head up high and say all right you, I'm gonna try it even if I'm scared. And even though I still am really paranoid and sometimes self conscious, sometimes I get panic attacks or pieces of depression and sometimes I just want to stop exist these things pop up way less often and thanks to all of you I became a bit better person.

So now, that I am a year old blogger I want to thank you and promise you one day I will get my confidence and put out the films that I made. Because I made many but I still haven't the courage to put them out for different reasons.

Thank you so much for coming this way and I hope I wont fail you in the future. I love doing this even though it is hard to find the time to do these things.

Don't think binary.
whitelilit

P.S. I love comments even more than girrafes so be sure to comment, who you are or where are you from. I'm re-learning geography with this blog and it's so much fun! Also if you have a topic you want me to cover put that down in the comment. Bye!